


OH SHIT I'M DATING A BRICK

by kisskisslavendertea, RyleeLin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Getting Together, M/M, a bit of angst, but i still love her so, i swear this actually is a klance fic, klance, my beta had too much control because im a shit writer, oc is just a placeholder whos mentioned in passing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-06 22:56:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15205295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisskisslavendertea/pseuds/kisskisslavendertea, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyleeLin/pseuds/RyleeLin
Summary: Lance has a type. An emo, leather-wearing, motorcycle-riding type. Will he refuse to accept this? Yes.





	1. Lance's New Boo

**Author's Note:**

> So this was fluffy until my beta got a hold of it. I swear.

Hunk was relaxing in his apartment when his doorbell rang a total of 60 times. “Coming, Lance!” he grumbled. He opened his door to see exactly who he expected. It was Lance, with a grin so wide his face looked like it would split in half. 

 

“Ignoring the fact that it’s 10:48, what’s up Lance?” He squinted his eyes. He was almost ready to go to bed, even being in PJs, and was NOT happy about his surprise visitor. 

 

Lance pushed right past him to twirl around with a shriek. “Hunk, I just started dating the most amazing girl. She’s gorgeous and so nice, and kind, and-” He paused to sigh dramatically. “Perfect.” 

 

Hunk just rolled his eyes with a smile. “Okay loverboy Lance, what’s her name?” he asked as he herded the lovestruck boy to the couch. 

 

Lance fell onto the couch with a look on his face that Hunk has seen one too many times. “Alexa Weblum. Isn’t that absolutely beautiful?” 

 

“Yeah, sure buddy. What’s she like?” Hunk asked with a chuckle.

 

_ I’ve never heard him talk about someone with so much passion in his voice _ , Hunk pondered in his head.  _ Could this person be different this time? _

 

“She’s  _ so pretty _ Hunk, you don’t even know. She has purple eyes and dark black hair, and it’s so flowy when she rides her motorcycle, and she’s a tomboy, but she’s super sweet and-”

 

_ I guess not. _

 

“Uh, Lance?” Hunk asked. “I don’t mean to cut you off, but she kind of sounds like someone we already know.”

 

Lance scoffed. “Hunk, that’s ridiculous. She’s her own person. Besides, she’s got a completely different personality than Keith.”

 

Hunk raised his eyebrows. “I never said anything about Keith.”

 

“It’s obvious that you’re hinting to that. Besides, Keith is a jerk! I would never go for someone like him.”

 

“Whats obvious is that you’re in denial! You inexplicitly admitted that you’re dating someone very similar to Keith, then said you would  _ never _ go for someone like him! Do you hear yourself, Lance?” Hunk was frustrated, as this isn’t the first time this has happened. He’d much rather be sleeping or baking a batch of his favorite cookies. They’re the chocolate chip ones, with a delicious oreo in the middle, god he could totally kill for one of those right now-

 

“Hunk? Hunk!” Lance’s voice knocked Hunk from his headspace. “Stop thinking about food- ugh nevermind.” Lance got up to leave, but Hunk blocked the doorway.

 

“Hunk, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you so late. I barged into your apartment uninvited just to fawn over yet another girl. I’m sorry, really-”

 

“Lance!” Hunk snapped.

 

“I’m sorry. You’re my best friend, and I should’ve been paying attention to you.” Hunk sighed. “I’m proud of you, buddy. I’m not upset with you, and you can always talk to me. You’re welcome to visit my apartment any time, just please try to come at a more reasonable hour next time. Get some sleep, and do your thing.”

 

Lance, with tears in his eyes, leaned in and hugged Hunk.

 

“Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m sure that’s exactly what my abuela would have said.” Lance leaned back with a big smile on his face. “Thank you,” he said one last time, before grabbing the doorknob and leaving.

 

“Bye Lance!”

 

“Bye Hunk,” Lance said, clearly distracted by something he was thinking about.

 

Hunk watched him leave down the hall, and, standing in the doorway, he sighed again, shaking his head.  _ When would that boy learn? _


	2. That Lit OH SHIT Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance realizes the girl he's dating is, well, boring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Ash is essentially now a co-author, but she doesn't have an ao3 account so I guess I'll just die.  
> We also have one of our other friends betaing, Oz, but he's a genuine beta.   
> So yeah, have fun with this. I'm gonna upload a crack version of the third chapter that Ash wrote as a sequel to this

It was just like any other Wednesday at Hunk’s apartment. It was that day of the week where Pidge and Hunk had some quality bonding time while binge watching episodes of Say Yes to the Dress. It wasn’t uncommon to hear the both of them incessantly screeching at the current entourage of the episode.   (R/N the entourage needs to MIND THEIR OWN DAMN BUSINESS IT’S NOT THEIR WEDDING) (A/N yes the beginning is cliche. No, I do not care.)

 

In the middle of Pidge giving shit to the sister of the bride, the doorbell rang to the rhythm of Welcome to the Black Parade. 

 

Pidge stopped mid-sentence to yell, “Lance, the door is open!” before grumbling about how the bride needed a new sister. 

 

Lance ambled through the door. “Guys, help,” he grumbled as he flopped down onto the floor. “I’m suffering horribly and need someone to fix it.” 

 

“What did you do, Lance?” Pidge asked. She already had her phone out, recording everything.

 

He sat up quickly to his own defense. “ _ I’ve _ done absolutely nothing wrong,” he said, pointing to himself. “I’m completely innocent.”

 

“Lance, just tell us what’s going on,” Hunk sighed, preparing himself for whatever trouble Lance got into. 

 

Lance sighed. “Fine. You know the girl I started dating a few weeks ago?”

 

Hunk nodded, having been over this already. Pidge, unaware of his new date mate, was about to speak on the subject matter when Hunk grabbed her arm and whispered, ”Just go with it.” She nodded since it happens pretty much all the time.

 

_ I do NOT want to go over this again _ , thought Hunk.

 

“Well, she started off cool and mysterious, and now, well, she’s no longer cool and mysterious. She’s actually, well, kind of boring. She has almost no personality and all she does is work on her bike and play Call of Duty. Not PubG, not Fortnite, not even something like Fallout. Call. of. Duty. To be specific, Call of Duty 2. I had to Google when it came out. 2005 Pidge! You were barely even alive then!”

 

She gave him a death glare before kicking his arm. “At least I’m not old enough to remember a time before technology.”

 

“I think I need to break up with her. I just feel trapped.” Lance sighed. “This won’t be fun.”

 

Hunk nodded. “I think it’s a good idea buddy. It would be worse if you stayed with her.”

 

“Why’d you even start dating her?” Pidge asked, checking the angle to her video. “Since, you know, you think she’s boring and all.” 

 

Hunk chuckled at that as Lance pouted. “Hunkers, c’mon man, don’t play me like this.” He sat up to glare at Pidge. 

 

Hunk patted his head. “I’ll bake cookies to make up for it.” He grinned, turning to Pidge. “He liked her because she was similar to Keith.”

 

“Uh, no, Hunk, I do  _ not _ like Keith FYI. He’s  _ so _ emo a-and annoying and he shows off all the time, and, um…”

 

“ _ Sure  _ Lance. You’ve totally convinced me.” Pidge said with a devilish grin.

 

“Alright, fine, I like Keith. He’s so much more interesting than this girl I’m going out with, cause I  _ know _ Keith. Keith is cute and funny and interesting and he loves to take me places on his bike and he just makes me happy. But he doesn’t even like me, so what’s the point?” A tear ran down his cheek. 

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Lance saw Pidge scoff lightly. “ _ Doesn’t even like you _ my ass,” She muttered. 

 

Lance perked up immediately and practically attacked her. “WhAtDoYoUmEaN,” He huffed out, “‘ _ doesn’t even like you my ass _ ?!?!?’”

 

Pidge pummeled him with kicks to the stomach before Hunk dragged Lance off of her. “Lance,” He said calmly, “I really hope you know what that means.” Hunk guided him over to the opposite side of the couch. 

 

Lance sat, face slack with disbelief. “No way,” He muttered to himself. “There’s no way…”

 

Hunk gave Pidge a look. “Look at him,” gesturing to the shell-shocked boy. “You broke him.” 

 

Pidge just grinned. “Oh, give him a minute and Loverboy will chase after Keith to his heart’s content.” 

 

“If you’re sure,” Hunk said wearily. 

 

Lance’s eyes snapped open, startling Hunk and Pidge. “I have to find Keith,” he said, practically stumbling out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment or kudos if you liked it!  
> I would put social media in here again but I'm assuming you read the first chapter and I'm not that desperate for followers  
> Co-Authors: Ash and Riley  
> Beta: Oz  
> (supposedly ash is getting an ao3 account so 8))   
> (Just in case you were confused R/N is Riley's note and A/N is Ash's note)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for reading!  
> This will be a 3 chapter fic loosely based off my beta's life. She met this guy on a cruise, and was head over heels. Then a few weeks later she texts me going "THIS GUY IS SO BORING. HE'S NICE AND COOL AND ALL THAT BUT HE'S BORING." and that's the point we're at. She doesn't have a type or a Keith though.
> 
> Leave a comment or kudos if you liked it!  
> (Riley) Author's social:  
> Tumblr Main: @listen-i-swear-im-nice  
> Voltron Sideblog: @voltron-lions  
> Twitter: @TheUltimateGayG
> 
> (Ash) Beta's social:  
> Tumblr Main: @cryptidash  
> Sideblog: @cheers-tomymisery


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